I have a Monster hiding in the bath. Having only been in the Little House By the Sea for a few weeks I have yet to purchase a laundry basket. Bit of a posh name for a stinky clothes dwelling place. The Monster is my washing and it lives in the bath at the moment. And No! the picture below is not mine. I am far too chicken to show you mine.
Every day I dutifully put one load on and promptly forget it's there. I then rewash it and finally hang it out on the line. I hate hanging out washing. Hate it with a vengeance! My mother is the most Holy Saint Hyacinth of Washing. Everything she touches sparkles and smells fresh and beautiful. I am crap at the job and yearn for another life where lovely Cypriot chaps came and took my laundry and returned it wrapped in paper. I once had a Taiwanese student to stay. He arrived with a suitcase full of clean washing...all wrapped in tissue paper or enclosed in a pretty piece of plastic. I wanted to move in with his parents. But now I am alone in my efforts to deal with the The Borg's detritus and the Monster in the bath. There is more than one monster in this house. The Sock Monster is of course well known in our society.
You put a load of socks in the machine and only one of each pair is there when you unload the machine. I have my own theory on this. I don't think the Sock Monster actually exists. It's too far fetched an idea anyway! I think that sock manufacturers are in cahoots with washing machine manufacturers. The boss at Sock Land gives the boss at Washing Machine World a backhander every time a thousand socks are lost. The guy at Washing Machine World puts a chemical in the machine which obliterates 50 per cent of the wash. There is no other sane reason for it, is there? The other Monster that skulks in this house is the Pen and Keys Monster. It used to be just the Pen Monster but as I age it seems to be snaffling my keys too.
Now the Pen Monster is pretty stupid because it doesn't actually destroy your pens/keys/purse. It just sits back and laughs like a drain whilst it watches you tear the sofa apart and run up and down the stairs a hundred times in your search for said items. Of course, if you are like me, YOU haven't actually lost them. The Borg has moved them and gets pulled out of his Borg Hole to help you look. The Pen monster then puts them in the most ridiculous place you can think of aka the fridge and sidles off next door to cause further mayhem.
Will someone PLEASE come and fumigate my house and restore my sanity?
Mrs Wook.
Every day I dutifully put one load on and promptly forget it's there. I then rewash it and finally hang it out on the line. I hate hanging out washing. Hate it with a vengeance! My mother is the most Holy Saint Hyacinth of Washing. Everything she touches sparkles and smells fresh and beautiful. I am crap at the job and yearn for another life where lovely Cypriot chaps came and took my laundry and returned it wrapped in paper. I once had a Taiwanese student to stay. He arrived with a suitcase full of clean washing...all wrapped in tissue paper or enclosed in a pretty piece of plastic. I wanted to move in with his parents. But now I am alone in my efforts to deal with the The Borg's detritus and the Monster in the bath. There is more than one monster in this house. The Sock Monster is of course well known in our society.
You put a load of socks in the machine and only one of each pair is there when you unload the machine. I have my own theory on this. I don't think the Sock Monster actually exists. It's too far fetched an idea anyway! I think that sock manufacturers are in cahoots with washing machine manufacturers. The boss at Sock Land gives the boss at Washing Machine World a backhander every time a thousand socks are lost. The guy at Washing Machine World puts a chemical in the machine which obliterates 50 per cent of the wash. There is no other sane reason for it, is there? The other Monster that skulks in this house is the Pen and Keys Monster. It used to be just the Pen Monster but as I age it seems to be snaffling my keys too.
Now the Pen Monster is pretty stupid because it doesn't actually destroy your pens/keys/purse. It just sits back and laughs like a drain whilst it watches you tear the sofa apart and run up and down the stairs a hundred times in your search for said items. Of course, if you are like me, YOU haven't actually lost them. The Borg has moved them and gets pulled out of his Borg Hole to help you look. The Pen monster then puts them in the most ridiculous place you can think of aka the fridge and sidles off next door to cause further mayhem.
Will someone PLEASE come and fumigate my house and restore my sanity?
Mrs Wook.
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